Johnny Carson's
Tonight Show
Oct. 17, 1979

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Many THANKS to Totally Kate contributors for the interview and the transcription!
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(Ed. note: Reading this interview you may come away with the feeling that Kate & Johnny were incredibly rude at times. If you could “hear” this interview you would not have that feeling. For anyone not familiar with late-night talk shows, and especially the “Tonight” show when Johnny Carson was host, this whole interview was banter with lots of innuendo, it was as if Kate & Johnny were trying to see who could one-up the other one.)

(Johnny talks about the premier of “Kate Loves a Mystery “and introduces Kate)

JOHNNY CARSON:  You have a little grin on your face; a little look you gave me when you came around  the corner.

KATE MULGREW:  We'll talk about that another time but I have been very happy for the last two weeks.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Have you really?

KATE MULGREW:  Very, very happy.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Because of your work or something personal in your life that's happened?

KATE MULGREW:  I'd say essentially the work.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Really?

KATE MULGREW:  But I think the theory behind it all is that you let go.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You let go?

KATE MULGREW:  Anxiety is very evil.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yes.

KATE MULGREW:  (fiddles with skirt) Can you see my Band-Aids?

JOHNNY CARSON:  You want to show them to us?  See nobody would have noticed until you pulled up  your skirt and say you want to see my Band-Aids.  That calls attention to it right away.

KATE MULGREW:  Never mind.

JOHNNY CARSON:  How'd you do that, Kate?

KATE MULGREW:  I fell down the stairs this morning.  I want to get right to the point.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Okay.

KATE MULGREW:  Yeah.

JOHNNY CARSON:  I'm sorry.

KATE MULGREW:  It's treacherous.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yes.  You let anxiety go.

KATE MULGREW:  You have to let it all go.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yeah.  You suffer from anxiety attacks?

KATE MULGREW:  I certainly do.  Don't you?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Sometimes, yeah, and you can tell and you don't know what to do to get  out of it.

KATE MULGREW:  Well, if it manifests itself improperly, you're in real trouble...

JOHNNY CARSON:  Oh.

KATE MULGREW:  ... because it's evil...

JOHNNY CARSON:  It is?

KATE MULGREW:  ... and pretty soon all you can think about is how wonderful you are and  you're addicted to your particular life style, which of course ---

JOHNNY CARSON:  What gives you an anxiety attack?

KATE MULGREW:  What gives me?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yeah.

KATE MULGREW:  If the input is too much.

JOHNNY CARSON:  The input?

KATE MULGREW:  Am I being good?  Am I being bad?  Am I professional enough?  Am I this  enough or that enough?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yeah.

KATE MULGREW:  And it's bologna.  Who cares?  Man, who really cares?

JOHNNY CARSON:  In other words you get yourself directed in thinking too much about yourself?

KATE MULGREW:  Absolutely, that's it.  Complete self  involvement.  Get out of it.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Are you out of it?

KATE MULGREW:  Go for broke and just live.  Be.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Go.  Do.  Run.  Walk.

(audience applauds)

JOHNNY CARSON:  This is not like est, is it?  Or something like that.  It sounds a  little bit like est.

KATE MULGREW:  No.  Est...

JOHNNY CARSON:  If you don't know it, you haven't found it.

KATE MULGREW:  Est is bad news.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Do you got it?  No, but I think I lost it.  Then you don't have it. You  should know  when you have it.  How do I know when I have it?  Then you don't  have it.  I'm not putting est down, but  I've had people talk to me like this...

KATE MULGREW:  Put it down.

JOHNNY CARSON:   ...somebody saying, you know...

KATE MULGREW:  I think you should put it down.

JOHNNY CARSON:  No I don't know that much about it, but...

KATE MULGREW:  I know about est.

JOHNNY CARSON:  I'll be in conversations like that, people will say have you found it  and they'll say  yes and then they'll say well if you've found it then you  really haven't found it because you don't know it when you find it, and I  don't understand that kind of psychology.

KATE MULGREW:  Makes no sense at all.

JOHNNY CARSON:  I really don't.

KATE MULGREW:  No sense at all.  None.

Audience Member:  I had it surgically removed.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You had it surgically removed?

KATE MULGREW:  Est or anxiety?

JOHNNY CARSON:   (to KM) So you just let it go?

KATE MULGREW:  But just within the last two weeks.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Well, something had to happen.

KATE MULGREW:  My director.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Oh, really?

KATE MULGREW:  Yes. The perfect combination. Every conceivable ingredient of  greatness.  Warmth, humanity, joy, passion.

JOHNNY CARSON:  What's he doing in this business?

KATE MULGREW:  That's my question.  He's a great guy.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You've got to be kidding.

KATE MULGREW:  But it makes a big difference.

JOHNNY CARSON:  And he's in the entertainment business?  He'll never last.

KATE MULGREW:  Infinitely.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You gotta be cruel and bitter, vindictive...

KATE MULGREW:  No.

JOHNNY CARSON:   ...egotistical...

KATE MULGREW:  No.

JOHNNY CARSON:  No, I'm just joking.  Joking is my business.  (Sings)  Joking is my business, a duh  duh duh duh duh da... I'm just silly tonight.  I don't know why.

KATE MULGREW:  Me too.

JOHNNY CARSON:  That's nice.  Anything in your personal life that's helped that?

KATE MULGREW:  Getting right to the point, Johnny?

JOHNNY CARSON:  I'm not trying to force you, but we like revelations.

KATE MULGREW:  I have a very strange personal life, because I don't understand it and I don't think I   should direct it any more.  I grew up thinking that's where it's at.

KATE MULGREW:  You direct your personal life...

JOHNNY CARSON:  That's where what's at?

KATE MULGREW:  ...because the professional life will happen.  That's what I'm talking  about when I say let go.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yes.

KATE MULGREW:  You become...you become...

JOHNNY CARSON:  Let go of what?

KATE MULGREW:  You're really the worst.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Let go of what?

KATE MULGREW:  You're the worst.

JOHNNY CARSON:  What do you mean, I'm the worst?

KATE MULGREW:  You are the worst.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Why's that?

KATE MULGREW:  Don't give me that look.  I'm talking about...

JOHNNY CARSON:  I'm trying to understand.  You're saying let go; I'm saying let go of what?

KATE MULGREW:  I'm saying you have to let go of the whole pressure syndrome in your personal life.

JOHNNY CARSON: Yeah, ummhmm.

KATE MULGREW:  Right?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Okay.

KATE MULGREW:  If love was meant to be, love will be.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Ahhhhhh.

KATE MULGREW:  If you push it...

(audience guffaws)

KATE MULGREW:  I'm not going to talk to him any more.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You can lead a horse to water, but...

KATE MULGREW:  But you can't...

JOHNNY CARSON:   ...if it lies back and floats, you've got something.   Behind every woman is a great behind.

(audience continues to guffaw)

JOHNNY CARSON:  Never mind the rimshot.

KATE MULGREW:  (to audience) Why do you encourage him?  What's the point?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Okay, so you've let it go; you've gotten rid of your anxiety complex.  You've ummm...

Kate starts to play with the pencils on Johnny's desk.

KATE MULGREW:  Yes, and I feel terrific.

As Kate takes a pencil, Johnny takes it back. If you watched Johnny you know you do not play with his pencils. <G>

JOHNNY CARSON:  That's wonderful and I'm happy for you. Outside of a tendency to steal things off my desk.

KATE MULGREW:  I feel great.  I finished my film in Ireland.  Don't you want to talk about my film in  Ireland?

JOHNNY CARSON:  What?  Do I want to talk about your film in Ireland?

KATE MULGREW:  I finished it.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Not particularly, no.

KATE MULGREW:  Well I want to talk about my film in Ireland.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You want to talk about it?

KATE MULGREW:  Yes.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Well, there's little for you to say.  No I'm just teasing.  Let's talk about your film in Ireland.

KATE MULGREW:  Just briefly.

JOHNNY CARSON:  I understand you just finished a film in Ireland.

KATE MULGREW:  I just did.

JOHNNY CARSON:  What's it called?

KATE MULGREW:  You know what it's called.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Tristan and Isolde.

KATE MULGREW:  You're very good.  Tristan and Isolt with Richard Burton.

JOHNNY CARSON:   Tristan and Isolt.

KATE MULGREW:  Right and it was terrific; a great experience.

JOHNNY CARSON:  With Richard Burton?

KATE MULGREW:  Yes.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Have you ever worked with Richard Burton?

KATE MULGREW:  No, I haven't.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Now he's considered one of the world's fine actors.  Is he not?

KATE MULGREW:  With good reason.  He is the epitome of a superstar because it's all  there.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Does he let it go?

(audience howls)

KATE MULGREW:  (audience almost drowns out response) He sure does... in every possible way. Gottcha....

JOHNNY CARSON:  All right, Katie.  (Irish accent)  All right, Katie, me darlin' we'll be back in just a moment and we'll all let it go after this.

(commercial break)

Question cut off

JOHNNY CARSON:  That's really not a fair question.  That's really not a fair question, I shouldn't have asked you that.

KATE MULGREW:  I don't want...I think that possibly every woman, I say this with some reservation, mind you...

JOHNNY CARSON:  Of course.

KATE MULGREW: ...has at one time or another, whether in her mind or in her being, practice...

JOHNNY CARSON:  Fantasized.

KATE MULGREW:  ...has been a prostitute.  Because a woman wants to give.  A woman would really like to get rid of that stuff that she's supposed to deal with all day long and for her entire life.  Her morality, her children, her house, her husband, and she wants to say 'hey babe...

JOHNNY CARSON:  Just once.

KATE MULGREW:  ...I'm here.'  You know?  I think so.  (to audience)  Am I right or wrong?

Audience Member:  You're wrong.

KATE MULGREW:  I'm wrong.  Oh God...

JOHNNY CARSON:  The naked lady in the sixth row.

KATE MULGREW:  I'm always wrong.

JOHNNY CARSON:  I really didn't mean that as a shock value.  I meant it almost as a sociological thing, because it does happen, because women do get bored, as I suppose men do.  But women can make money that way.  I mean, I don't think many guys, uhhh...

Audience Member:  Wrong.

KATE MULGREW:  Do you want to hear an interesting statistic?  They took a survey across the nation.  A national survey.  High class prostitutes, call girls, right?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Is that what they call them?

KATE MULGREW:  Yes.  And 90 percent of the real high class call girls in the American society are the second oldest in a very large family.  Do you know that?

JOHNNY CARSON:  No, I didn't know that.

KATE MULGREW:  Which puts me in a very compromising position.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Are you the second?

KATE MULGREW:  Yes, I am.

JOHNNY CARSON:  In other words the second to oldest in a very large family.

KATE MULGREW:  Of the girls.  If she is a girl.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Have they ever understood what the relationship is or why?

KATE MULGREW:  I think because she is so tired of taking care of six small children that she goes out and says 'My turn.'

JOHNNY CARSON:  Let somebody take care of me.

KATE MULGREW:  Something like that.  Yeah.

JOHNNY CARSON: That's interesting.

KATE MULGREW:  But high class.  I'm not talking about 42nd Street.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Something like the east 60's?

KATE MULGREW:  East 60's?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Where ever those call girls hang out.

KATE MULGREW:  Obviously you know what you're talking about.

JOHNNY CARSON:  No, no, I just...

KATE MULGREW:  I mean what are you going to do?

JOHNNY CARSON:  I've heard of it going on in those kind of neighborhoods.  In the east 60's.

KATE MULGREW:  The east 60's?

JOHNNY CARSON:  Yeah, I suppose.

KATE MULGREW:  That's not the east 60's I know, then.

JOHNNY CARSON:  What?  63rd?  64th?

KATE MULGREW:  Never mind.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Won't give me the streets.  Let's take a break.

(commercial)

JOHNNY CARSON:  Kate Loves a Mystery, 10 o'clock here on NBC.

KATE MULGREW:  Right.

JOHNNY CARSON:  Would you come back with us?

KATE MULGREW:  I'd love it.  Of  course.

JOHNNY CARSON:  You're delightful.  It's nice to have you here.

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