NOVEMBER 10/11, 1998
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Graphics Intensive.
Transcript courtesy of  Saffron. 
Many thanks for letting me "borrow"  it. 
Visit  her "A Kate Mulgrew Page"
where you'll find more screen captures from this interview. 

Conan:  You know my next guest as the lovely Starfleet Captain, Kathryn Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager. Please welcome Kate Mulgrew!

[Kate enters]

[cheers & applause]

Kate:  I love to see you.

Conan:  Oh, thank you for being here.

Kate:  It's the highlight of my trip every time.

Conan:  Oh really? Well, that's very nice of you.

Kate:  You're not only Irish Catholic and charming, but I know that you're fascinated by all things having to do with outer space.

Conan:  [chuckles] Yes, I'm an...

Kate:  It's true. Don't you want to discuss spatial anomalies tonight?

Conan:  Yes, we are. We're gonna get into all the minutiae.

Kate:  Yes. Last time it was tricorders and phasors.

Conan:  That's right. I'm a really "Trekkie Nerd," as they say.

Kate:  [laughs] You are not.

Conan:  Oh, is that offensive? That's gonna get a lot of people angry, right?

Kate:  Yes. [to audience] How many of you angry already?

[not much response from audience]

Kate:  Obviously, there are no Trekkers in the audience.

Conan:  It's pretty late in the show, so these people are furious. Congratulations, first of all, your hundredth episode?

Kate:  Hundredth episode.


Conan:  That's great, that's nice.

Kate:  Thank you.

Conan:  Are you happy about that? That's, uh...

Kate:  I'm very happy. It's an enormous sense of accomplishment, which I'm sure you understand very well. You've done a thousand plus of these, have you not?

Conan:  Yeah, we've done over a thousand of these, it's just that we start, you start to feel like you're getting into bulk, like quantity, [laughs] ya know?

Kate:  Well, I'm not there.

Conan:  Ah.

Kate:  And after a hundred, it does beg a very interesting question. How many people have done a hundred of anything in their lifetime? I mean aside from the daily or occasionally nocturnal obligations. How many times...

Conan:  [laughs] What?

Kate:  ...have you done a hundred of anything?

Conan:  I have had sex at least a hundred and ten times in my life.

Kate:  [laughs] We're gonna talk about mortification of the flesh. Have you done...

Conan:  Wait a minute. No, I'm wrong. I'm sorry.

Kate:  [to Andy] What have you done a hundred of?

Andy:  Uh, boy, ya know, nothing outstanding. Been on this show 1,000 times...

Kate:  I mean, Andy, in your private life?

Andy:  In my private life, a hundred times?

Conan:  This all we do. We don't have a private life. When the show is over, Andy and I just sit here and they put, like, sheets over us and turn out the lights.

Andy:  I probably bought a hundred books I haven't read.

Kate:  Now this is fascinating, gentlemen. So you can understand my sense of accomplishment.

Conan:  We're pathetic.

Kate:  You're not pathetic.

Conan:  You know what, speaking of pathetic, I gotta bring something up that has been bothering me.

Kate:  Oh, don't humiliate me. What is this?

Conan:  Sorry, but here it comes. Um, you're the first female captain of a Starship.

Kate:  Allegedly.

Conan:  Allegedly, the first female captain and the whole premise of  your show is that you're lost... and that's the whole premise of the show.

Kate:  I know.

[boos from the audience]

Kate:  I mean, ladies and gentlemen... [makes time-out sign]

Conan:  Have you thought about this? Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. I am pointing out because, believe me, I'm on your side. Heh heh.

Kate:  This is spoken like a true Irishman, right?

Conan:  I'm just saying that...

Kate:  ...the broad got them all lost in the Delta Quadrant.

Conan:  Aren't the other people on the ship starting the snicker at you? You come onto the bridge, and "I've got a map here somewhere."

Kate:  I don't allow them to snicker. And it's a good thing I did get them lost or we wouldn't be sitting here tonight, right?

Conan:  But hasn't the ship been lost for a couple of years.

Kate:  Been lost for [starts to laugh] five... long... years.

Conan:  That's pathetic. [laughs] You're the Gilligan of deep space.

Kate:  Thank God!

[cheers & applause]

Conan:  It's not a good thing.

Kate:  I think it's very appropriate. It's appropriate, disarming, feminine, and charming that I got us lost, right? Rather than some male saying, "We're stopping at the..., we're taking the I-95..." Have you ever noticed that men will not stop at a gas station and ask for directions?


Conan:  Kirk....

Kate:  They will not stop...true, ladies? [imitates a guy] "We'll get there, by God, you can just..." They're driving endlessly.

Conan:  Well, Kirk and Picard never asked for directions, they never admit that they're lost.

Kate:  Oh, they were otherwise engaged, most of the time, weren't they, Conan?

Conan:  What was that all about?

Kate:  I run a strict ship.

Conan:  What do you mean those two were otherwise engaged?

Kate:  They had a lot to do.

Conan:  You know stuff.

Kate:  They had a lot of time on their hands.

Conan:  You talked about being Catholic, now...

Kate:  We have to talk about it because it is our...

Conan:  Well I guess, yeah, I find that there's a repression, ya know, that comes with...

Kate:  Are you still a practicing Roman Catholic? Can you even say that?

Conan:  Oh, I don't get into that. I don't talk about it on the air.

Kate:  You never talk about it on the air?

Conan:  Let's just say, this bird knows how to fly...that's all I'll say right now.

Kate:  [laughs]

[cheers & applause]

Kate:  You're giving yourself away.

Conan:  But basically, there's not a lot goin' on in my life. [laughs]

Kate:  And do you think repression is a big part of that?

Conan:  I think think repression part of a couple of uh, well, cultures and religions. But yeah, I think Catholics definitely have problems talking about sex. I think they have trouble dealing with those issues. This is not new ground.

Kate:  They do?

Conan:  Of course they do.

Kate:  Nobody in my family had that problem.

Conan:  They talked about sex in your house?

 Kate:  They did a lot more [starts to laugh] than  talk about sex in my house, yes. Yes, I think it was pretty liberal.

Conan:  You got a lot of innuendo goin' tonight. Have you noticed that?

Kate:  Mm-hmm.

Conan:  "Mine did a lot more than talk about it, and by the way, Picard and Kirk are off..."

Kate:  You'd talk about it too, if you'd been lost for five years.

Conan:  So, there was no repression, really?

Kate:  There was repression but  mostly there was mortification of the flesh, I'd say.

Conan:  Back up.


Conan:  There was mortification of the flesh?

Kate:  Well, you know what mortification of the flesh is?

Conan:  Well, you deny your...

Kate:  You live in a constant state, yes of self-mortif....

Conan:  What do you mean?

Kate:  You deny. You deny. You deny.

Conan:  You deny yourself the pleasures of life.

Kate:  You deny that you're a human like other human beings.

Conan:  Right.

Kate:  Yeah.

Conan:  This is the most serious, theological discussion...

Kate and Conan:  ...we've/you've ever had on Conan O'Brien

Conan:  I think it's time a puppet should come out or something. I'm getting uncomfortable. People are starting to learn stuff watching this show.

Kate:  Do you know what it has given you?

Conan:  What's that?

Kate:  Your completely irreverent  and wonderful sense of humor.

Conan:  Wow, what a great segue. You're better than Segue Sam.


Kate:  Thank you.

Conan:  [pause] Aw, gee.

Kate:  See.

Conan:  I gotta mention this. Star Trek:Voyager, Wednesdays at 9 p.m on UPN. When are you gonna stop being lost? Is there a point where you get...

Kate:  We're getting home, Conan. I *will* stop at the gas station. I will, yes.

Conan:  I just love, you've been telling the crew for five years, "We're getting home!"

Kate:  Louder and louder.

Conan:  Well thank you very much for being here.

Kate:  It's a pleasure, always.

Conan:  Please come back soon.

Kate:  I will.

Conan:  Kate Mulgrew, everybody! We'll be right back with Gomez.