Ryan's Hope
Mary's Story
Episode 404
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Mary walks in as Jack is doing recovery exercises.  She tells him she's sorry she had to be gone all day, but he thinks that it was probably for the best under the circumstances.  She denies that, telling him they may be hurting, but they are better together.  Earlier in the day, she explains, she'd wanted time to think, but work kept her too busy.  Every time the thought of annulment flashed through her mind, she'd put it aside and try to go on with what she was doing.  Finally she had realized she wasn't frightened anymore.  Mary had decided that it was all absurd and she couldn't believe he meant it.  She was hoping that she'd come home and the whole thing would have gone away.

Jack tells her he isn't sure how he's supposed to respond to that.  Mary admits that she was hoping he'd tell her he loved her.  Jack asks Mary not to do that, she knows he loves her and he knows she loves him; that's not what it's all about.

"Then what is it, because if we love each other, what else matters?"

"Everything.  Your plans, your expectations, your lifestyle, your baby."

"Our baby."

"Your baby."

"How can you blame it all on our baby when you don't even know him yet? Why don't you wait until this person is born?  Until you're feeling better again and then decide what our life's going to be like?  Jack, it's so crazy.  I don't think you want the annulment.  You want things the way they were with us and you want to be well again."

Jack tells her they both know there's a good chance he won't be well again, but Mary denies that is true.  She tells him he hasn't done anything to see a specialist and accuses him of not wanting solutions, but excuses to go on acting the way he's been acting.  Jack tries to convince Mary the marriage is no good, and she should let it go, but Mary insists he won't get away with getting the annulment and saying it's for her.  She knows what she wants, and it's not an annulment.  Jack accuses Mary of being as stubborn as Da.  He tells her she's going to hang on until there's nothing left and they hate each other.  He won't let her get away with that.  Mary still insists an annulment is not the way it's supposed to be.  Jack wants her to look at them as they are now and multiply that by two years, and tell him how she'd feel about it then.  She assures him that even then she'd love him.

Mary goes to the kitchen and tells Maeve, who is kneading bread, she thinks Jack is afraid.  He sees his own anger, frustration and jealousy and it frightens him because he doesn't know how to stop it.

Maeve asks if she thinks Jack is afraid Mary's going to give up on him and Mary adds so that he can leave her before she leaves him.  He doesn't trust her to love him enough.  They agree that he was doing so much better before the accident and pregnancy.  Mary tells Maeve that Jack thinks the marriage was a mistake from the beginning, but Maeve doesn't believe that.  There was a lot she didn't like about Jack in the beginning, but once she got past all that, she understood why Mary had married him.  Even so, while she doesn't think they've seen the best of Jack yet, at the moment, she admits, she'd like to 'string him up by the heels.'

They discuss annulment and Mary tells Maeve that Father McShane says Jack can get one if Jack proves that he never wanted children and didn't tell Mary on purpose.  If he lied, the marriage never took.  Maeve wonders who will tell that to their child and Mary hopes no one will have to.  She hopes Jack won't go through with it.  When they were first married, she admits, he was uncomfortable with the idea of children.  He didn't want to share Mary with anyone else.

Maeve decides Jack's busy manufacturing reasons to leave Mary before she can leave him when Faith comes in complaining that Seneca won't let her see Jill.  Maeve can't be too hard on Seneca, since he's protecting her grandchild, and asks Mary if she's seen Faith's ring.  Faith shows the ring to Mary, who thinks it's lovely.  She is pleased with Pat and loves the idea of she and Faith being sisters-in-law.

While Maeve leaves the two chatting and goes upstairs, Mary tells Faith that everyone has the same initial reaction to the news about she and Pat; it's right and meant to be.  They both think Pat will make a terrific husband.  Mary asks Faith if she and Pat ever fight.  Faith answers hardly ever, and explains it's hard to be angry with Pat for long.

When Mary confesses that she is almost jealous, Faith inquires about Jack, but Mary says she'd rather talk about the wedding.  She agrees to be matron of honor, along with Jill and they share a laugh about two pregnant maids of honor.  Faith decides she'd like to get married on St. Patrick's Day.

They laugh about future Ryans and family gatherings.  Faith says she thinks Pat will be a good father, then apologizes to Mary.  Mary tells Faith not to worry, some men, like Frank and Pat, are naturally good fathers, others learn.

Alex joins them in the kitchen and congratulates Faith, who excuses herself.  She wants to check with Pat about the St. Patrick's Day wedding plans.  Alex asks Mary how things are.  She answers succinctly, "I'm fair, Jack's poor and the marriage is critical."

Meanwhile, Maeve tells Jack he's behaving like a child.  She tells him that Mary has married him for life.  The real commitment, she explains, wasn't when they got married, but when she gave herself to him making love, and if he doesn't understand that about Mary, then he doesn't understand Mary Ryan at all.  She convinces him he made a promise and should make an effort to talk to Mary.  He starts down the backstairs to the kitchen.

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Episode Summary by Sr. Mary Kathryn
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