Ryan's Hope
Mary's Story
Episode 406
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Mary informs Jack he won't go to the apartment by himself, but Jack is adamant.  He asserts he won't go alone, Jumbo will go with him and asks Mary to get his suitcase.  Mary refuses to lift a finger to help and asks Alex to talk to him.  Alex can console Mary after he's left, Jack yells, in the meantime, he wants Alex to get out.  Alex assures Jack he isn't going anywhere and neither is Jack, because if he has to, he will block the door.

Maeve comes in and wants to know what in the name of Heaven is happening.  Jack yells for his suitcase again and Mary returns that she won't get it.  Maeve tells them both to lower their voices before they wake up Little John.  Alex suggests he and Maeve go to the living room, which only further angers Jack.  Jack reminds Alex not to forget to tell Maeve how he found him in the kitchen with his arms around his wife. They go, leaving Mary and Jack to face each other.

"Oh, will you stop now?  If you could just hear yourself its so sad and its so far from the truth."

"Okay, well, lets just skip it, because if we talk about it, I'm afraid I'll say things I'll regret."

Jack tells Mary that if she's not going to get his suitcase, he wishes she'd go to the living room and leave him alone, but Mary refuses. Maeve comes back in and informs them that there's one or two things that needs saying.  She sits down on the bed with Jack and tells him she knew he was stubborn, but not stupid.  Going back to Weehawkin Street now could only be bad for him.

He tells her that it is his responsibility.  He has a lot of respect and affection for her, but asks her to lay off, because he doesn't need to be mothered.  He needs to get out of the Ryan apartment.  The one thing she can do for him is get him his suitcase.  Maeve tells him not to ask her to help him leave.

Mary tries to convince Jack that he's manufacturing a crisis.  It's all in his head and nothing has changed.  There's no more reason to leave now than there was yesterday or last week or last month.  Jack wants to know if Mary and Alex have been playing 'comfort and cuddles' in the kitchen that long.  She denies it, but Jack says he found her in Alex arms, and plenty has changed.

In an effort to make Jack understand that Alex is her friend too, she explains that she needs friends.  Sometimes she even needs a little compassion and kindness.  Jack paraphrases what he heard on the stairs: because he's so impossible, because he sees her and the baby as burdens, because she's afraid she'll never be able to love him enough.

People who listen on stairways, she tells him, don't always hear entire conversations.  Maybe the next time he feels like eavesdropping, he should start listening at the beginning.

Jumbo comes in wanting to know what's happening, but Mary tells him Jack has to explain.  Jack tells them to all get out while he gets his things together and explains to Jumbo.  Jumbo tells them to hold it as Jack explains that he's going back to Weehawkin Street without Mary and wants Jumbo's help.  Jumbo questions him leaving without Mary.  Mary tells Jumbo that Jack has decided that, among other things, marrying her was a mistake and he wants to go home.  Jack tells Mary to get out, but Mary says she won't hide under the bed while he walks out on her.

Jumbo sizes things up quickly and decides he won't help Jack walk out on Mary and the baby, since that would be a crazy thing to do, and for Jack to think he'd help take him out of the Ryan's apartment before it was safe to move him was even crazier.  Jumbo tells Jack to calm down and get some sleep before walking out of the room.

Mary follows Jumbo to the living room and thanks him.  He tells her to keep him posted and that if there is anything he can do, he will.

Later that evening, Jack is in bed and Mary comes in.  She starts to get into the cot they have put in the room for her, but gets into the bed with Jack instead.

"I love you.  Whether you think so or not, nothing's more important than that.  I think you've been through  a whole series of things.  Too much has happened, you know.  Too much pain, too much frustration.  Too many changes.  You've lost your privacy.  You have to depend on my family. And because we can't make love for a little while, not forever, I don't believe its forever; I know its not, you're afraid we'll never feel close again.  And you're also afraid that the baby's going to somehow come between us, or maybe you can't be the kind of father that you'd like to be.  But all those are real problems, honey, and because they're real, we can solve them, given time.  It's the problems you are making up in your head I don't understand.  Jack, I'm sorry if you think I've been too friendly with Alex.  I've had men friends all my life.  You know that.  I'm a fairly demonstrative person.  You know that too.  And I think you also know that what you saw in the kitchen was an exchange of concern about you by two people who love you and a gesture of concern by Alex."

"Mary, you don't understand what's happening."

"I don't understand what you think is happening, honey."

"Nothing, I know you're unhappy.  I know I'm miserable, and I know the reason is I haven't been able to handle all that's happened to us in a way that's comfortable for you.  I'm not the person you should be married to.  I can't change.  I've gone as far as I can go.  Now I know you won't give up.  You'll never give up.  So if we're ever going to get out of this, I gotta make it happen.  And that's what I'm going to do."

"I love you.  I'm not going to leave you.  You can't make me leave you. And I'm not going to let you leave me."  Mary gets off the bed and into her cot.

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Episode Summary by Sr. Mary Kathryn
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