Ryan's Hope
Mary's Story
Episode 409
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Mary comes home from work in the middle of Pat and Faith's engagement party and Da tells her that Jack has gone back to Weehawkin Street. Mary excuses herself from the party and heads to Weehawkin Street to confront Jack.

When she gets to the apartment, she tells Jack that this is scaring her, and asks if he's saying she can't come back here with him.  He asks her if she can't stay with her parents, where everyone loves her.  Of course she can stay, she says, but the question is, does she have a choice. She doesn't want to make it any easier for him if he breaks her heart.

Jack tells her it's better if he's by himself.  She wants to know better for who, and who gets to decide.  Does she get a vote?  Mary asks Jack if this means he doesn't want her any more.

It means, he says, he doesn't want to go on inflicting his inadequacies on her.  When has she ever said Jack was inadequate, Mary challenges. Jack tells her it isn't good, and she has to let go, but Mary doesn't agree.  When, she wonders, did Jack start making decisions for her.  She reminds him she used to be pretty independent and he used to say he liked her that way.  Jack tells her he can't be what she wants, and the longer they go on pretending, the worse it will get.

"A long time ago," she says, "I asked you if we were ever going to be able to fit our marriage into your apartment.  I guess that maybe that was the wrong question.  What I should have asked was how we were ever going to fit me into your life."

"I wanted there to be room.  I love you."

"Oh, Jack."

"It doesn't mean I won't hurt you over and over again.  I'm not going to stay around and do that."

"Did it ever occur to you that you might be hurting me now more than anything else you could ever do?"

"I can do worse than this."

Mary tells Jack that she loves him and reminds him she is starting her seventh month with his child.  All she wants is to have the baby and the three of them be a family.  She doesn't want to have to beg for that. Jack tells Mary he doesn't want her to beg.  Desperate, Mary asks him to tell her what to do; she'll do anything.  Jack explains he wants to leave once, so he won't lose her slowly, by degrees, every time he walks out the door.  Mary realizes he is trying to prevent her from leaving him by making sure that he leaves first.

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Episode Summary by Sr. Mary Kathryn
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Episode 410
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